Patient: Doctor, how can you say so
firmly, without checking,that I need
glasses?
Doctor: Because, in spite of the door
being open, you came in through the
window…
…………………………………
A guy is walking past a high, solid
wooden fence at the insane asylum and
he hears all the residents inside
chanting, “Thirteen! Thirteen!
Thirteen!”
He continues walking along the long
fence, but, being a curious person, he
can’t help but wonder why they are
chanting “Thirteen!” over and over.
Could it be that they are chugging
beer? Are they perhaps taking turns
beating one of the inmates? Maybe they
are counting the number of patients
that have leapt off of the roof thus
far.
His curiosity peaks and he frantically
searches for a hole in the fence so
that he may see what is going on.
Finally, he spots one a few feet
ahead. The hole is low in the fence
and he has to kneel down to peer
inside.
He moves into position and peeks into
the hole. As he looks in, someone
inside pokes him in the eye! Then
everyone inside the asylum starts
chanting, “Fourteen! Fourteen!
Fourteen!”
…………………………………
A lion woke up one morning feeling
really rowdy and mean. He went out and
cornered a small monkey and roared,
“Who is mightiest of all jungle
animals?”
The trembling monkey says, “You are,
mighty lion!
Later, the lion confronts a ox and
fiercely bellows,
“Who is the mightiest of all jungle
animals?”
The terrified ox stammers, “Oh great
lion, you are the mightiest animal in
the jungle!”
On a roll now, the lion swaggers up to
an elephant and roars,
“Who is mightiest of all jungle
animals?”
Fast as lightning, the elephant
snatches up the lion with his trunk,
slams him against a tree half a dozen
times leaving the lion feeling like
it’d been run over by a safari wagon.
The elephant then stomps on the lion
till it looks like a corn tortilla and
ambles away.
The lion lets out a moan of pain,
lifts his head weakly and hollers
after the elephant –
“Just because you don’t know the
answer, you don’t have to get so upset
about it!”
…………………………………
Sardarji is buying a TV.
“Do you have color TVs?”
“Sure.”
“Give me a green one, please.”
…………………………………
