Judge: Why did you hit your husband
with a chair?”
Wife: “I couldn’t lift the table.”
******
“What did one ghost say to another?”
“Do you believe in people?”
******
My friend has a fine watch dog.
At any suspicious noise he wakes the
dog and the dog begins to bark.
******
They call our language the mother
tongue because the father seldom gets
to speak.
******
“Room Service? Can you send up a
towel?”
” Please wait someone else is using
it.”
******
When I told the doctor about my loss
of memory, he made me pay in advance.
******
“Where did you get those big eyes?”
“They came with the face.”
******
I went alone on our honeymoon. My wife
had already seen Niagara Falls .
******
But the psychiatrist really helped me
a lot. I would never answer the phone,
because I was afraid. Now I answer it
whether it rings or not.
******
It was love at first sight. Then I
took a second look !!
******
“Look, guide, here are some lion
tracks.”
“Good. You see where they go and I’ll
find out where they came from.”
******
“Do you think I”ll lose my looks as I
get older?”
“Yes if you’re lucky.”
******
A modern artist is one who throws
paint on canvas, wipes it off with a
cloth and sells the cloth.
******
“Has there been any insanity in your
family?”
“Yes, doctor. My husband thinks he’s
the boss.”
******
I was thinking of becoming a doctor.
I have the handwriting for it.
******
“My wife doesn’t know what she wants.”
” You’re lucky. My wife does.”
******
We have a quiet home life. I don’t
speak to her and she doesn’t speak to
me.
******
“What do use for washing dishes?”
“Oh, I tried many things but found my
husband best. ”
******
“Why don’t you give your husband a
divorce?”
“What, I have lived with him for ten
years and now I should make him
happy?”
******
“Young man, do you think you can
handle a variety of work?”
“I ought to be able to. I’ve had 12
different jobs in four months.”
******
