10. My wife and I can’t come to the
phone right now, but if you’ll leave
your name and number, we’ll get back to
you as soon as we’re finished.
9 . Hello, you are talking to a
machine.
I am capable of receiving messages. My
owners do not need siding, windows or a
tub, and their carpets are clean. They
give to charity at the office and don’t
need their picture taken. If you’re
still with me, leave your name and home
phone number and they will get back to
you.
8 . This is not an answering machine –
this is a telepathic thought-recording
device. After the tone, think about
your
name, your number, and your reason for
calling…. and I’ll think about
returning your call.
7 . Hi! John’s answering machine is
broken. This is his refrigerator.
Please
speak very slowly, and I’ll stick your
message to myself with one of these
magnets.
6 . Hi. This is John: If you are the
phone company, I already sent the
money.
If you are my parents, please send
money. If you are my bank, you didn’t
lend me enough money. If you are my
friends, you owe me money. If you are a
female, don’t worry, I have LOTS of
money.
5 . A is for academics, B is for beer.
One of those reasons is why we’re not
here. So, leave a message.
4 . Hello! If you leave a message, I’ll
call you soon. If you leave a”sexy”
message, I’ll call sooner.
3 . Hi. Now YOU say something.
2 . Hi. I’m probably home, I’m just
avoiding someone I don’t like. Leave me
a message, and if I don’t call back,
it’s you.
And the Number 1 Actual Answering
Machine Message Recorded and Verified
by
The World Famous International
Institute
of Answering Machine Messages.
1 . Hello, you’ve reached Jim and
Sonya.
We can’t pick up the phone right now,
because we’re doing something we really
enjoy. Sonya likes doing it up and
down,
and I like doing it left to right…
real slowly. So leave a message, and
when we’re done brushing our teeth,
we’ll call you back.
