Jokes

Wife: Honey….. What are you looking
for?
Husband: Nothing.
Wife: Nothing…?? U’ve been reading
our marriage certificate 4 an
hour??
Husband: I was just looking 4 the
expiry date.
**********

Q – What is the Difference between
Mother & Wife?
A – One Woman Brings U into this world
crying… & the other ensures U
Continue to do so.

**********
Wife: Do you want dinner?
Husband: Sure, what are my choices?
Wife: Yes and no.

**********
Wife: You always carry my photo in
your handbag to the office. Why?
Husband: When there is a problem, no
matter how impossible, I look at
your picture and the problem
disappears.

Wife: You see how miraculous and
powerful I am for you?
Husband: Yes, I see your picture and
say to myself, “What other
problem Can there be greater than this
one?”

**********
Girl: When we get married, I want to
share all your worries, troubles
and lighten your burden.

Boy: It’s very kind of you, darling,
but I don’t have any worries or
troubles.

Girl: Well that’s because we aren’t
married yet.

**********
Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with
Dad this morning, he told me to
give up my seat to a lady.

Mom: Well, you have done the right
thing.

Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy’s
lap.

**********
A newly married man asked his
wife, “Would you have married me if my
father hadn’t left me a fortune?”

“Honey,” the woman replied
sweetly, “I’d have married you NO
MATTER
WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE”

**********
Father to son after exam: “let me see
your report card.”

Son: “My friend just borrowed it. He
wants to scare his parents.”

**********
Interviewer to Millionaire: To whom do
you owe your success as a
millionaire?”

Millionaire: “I owe ev erything to my
wife.”

Interviewer: “Wow, she must be some
woman. What were you before you
married her?”

Millionaire: “Billionaire”

**********
Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and
I’ll be yours forever.

The guy replies: Thanks for the warning
**********
A wife asked her husband: “What do you
like most in me my pretty face
or my body?”

He looked at her from head to toe and
replied: “I like your sense of
humor.