smile on view

smiles

ஒரு மாணவன் தனது தேர்வு ஒன்றில் முட்டை மதிப்பெண் – Jokes

ஒரு மாணவன் தனது தேர்வு ஒன்றில்..
முட்டை மதிப்பெண் கிடைத்ததால்
பெரும் அதிர்ச்சி ஆனான்..! காரணம்
அவன் அனைத்து கேள்விகளுக்கும்..
சரியாக பதிலளித்திருப்ப
தாகவே நம்பினான்..!

சரியான பதிலை எழுதியதாகவே.. அந்த மாணவன்
தொடர்ந்து பள்ளி நிர்வாகத்திடம்..
வாதாடினான்..!
சரி.. அப்படி என்ன தான்
கேள்விகளுக்கு பதில் அளித்தான்.. என பார்ப்போம்..!

🔵

கேள்வி;- எந்த போரில் திப்பு சுல்தான்
உயிரிழந்தார்..?
பதில்;- அவரது கடைசி போரில்..!

🔵

கேள்வி;- இந்திய சுதந்திரத்திற்கான..
பிரமாணம் எங்கே கையெழுத்திடப்பட
்டது..?
பதில்;- காகிதத்தின் அடிப் பகுதியில்..!

🔵

கேள்வி;- சுப நிகழ்ச்சிகளில்..
வாழை மரங்கள் எதற்காக
கட்டப்படுகிறது..?
பதில்;- அவைகள் கீழே விழாமல்
இருப்பதற்காக.. கட்டப்படுகிறது..!

🔵

கேள்வி;- விவாகரத்திற்கான.. முக்கிய
காரணம் என்ன..?
பதில்;- திருமணம் தான்..!

🔵

கேள்வி;- இரவு- பகல்..
எவ்வாறு ஏற்படுகிறது..?
பதில்;- கிழக்கே உதித்த சூரியன்..
மேற்கில் மறைவதாலும்.. மேற்கில்
மறைந்த சூரியன் மீண்டும் கிழக்கில்..
உதிப்பதாலும் இரவு- பகல்
ஏற்படுகிறது..!

🔵

கேள்வி;- மகாத்மா காந்தி..
எப்போது பிறந்தார்..?
பதில்;- அவரது பிறந்த நாளன்று..!

🔵

கேள்வி;- திருமணங்கள் சொர்க்கத்தில்
நிச்சயிக்கப்படுகிறதா..?
பதில்;- இல்லை.. திருமணங்கள்
செய்யும் அவரவர் வீட்டில்..!

🔵

கேள்வி;- தாஜ்மகால் யாருக்காக.. யார்
கட்டினார்..?
பதில்;- சுற்றுலா பயணிகளுக்காக..
கொத்தனார்களால் கட்டப்பட்டது..!

🔵

கேள்வி;- 8மாம்பழங்களை.. 6
பேருக்கு எப்படி சரியாக
பிரித்து கொடுப்பது..?
பதில்;- ஜூஸ் போட்டு.. 6 டம்ளர்களில்
சரியான அளவாக ஊற்றி கொடுக்கலாம்..!

பயபுள்ள சரியாக
தானே சொல்லிருக்கான்..???

Albert Einstien at School

In 1902, a professor asked his student whether it was God who created everything that exists in the universe ?
Student replied: Yes
He again asked: what about evil ?
Has God created evil also?
The student got silent….
Then the student requested that may he ask a question for him?
Professor allowed him to do so.
He asked: Does cold exist
Professor said : yes ! Don’t u feel the cold dear
Student said: I’m sorry but your wrong sir.
Cold is a complete absence of heat..
There is no cold, it is only an absence of heat.
Student asked again: Does darkness exist ?
Professor said: yes !
Student replied: your again wrong sir.
There is no such thing like darkness. Its actually the absence of light. Sir ! We always study light & heat, but not cold & darkness.
Similarly, the evil does not exist.
Actually it is the absence of love, faith & true belief in God.
That student was Albert Einstien…!!!

duck and veterinary surgeon

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird’s chest.
After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, “I’m sorry,your duck, Cuddles, has passed away.”
The distressed woman wailed, “Are you sure?”
“Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead,” replied the vet..
How can you be so sure?” she protested. “I mean you haven’t done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something.”
The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room. He returned a few minutes later with a black Labrador Retriever.
As the duck’s owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, puts his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.
The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room. A few minutes later he returned with a cat.
The cat jumped on the table and delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.
The vet looked at the woman and said, “I’m sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck.”
The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill,which he handed to the woman..
The duck’s owner, still in shock, took the bill. “$150!” she cried, “$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!”
The vet shrugged, “I’m sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it is now $150.”

Top 20 replies by Programmers to Testers when their programs don’t work

 

20. "That’s weird…"
19. "It’s never done that before."
18. "It worked yesterday."
17. "How is that possible?"
16. "It must be a hardware problem."
15. "What did you type in wrong to get it to crash?"
14. "There is something funky in your data."
13. "I haven’t touched that module in weeks!"
12. "You must have the wrong version."
11. "It’s just some unlucky coincidence."
10. "I can’t test everything!"
9. "THIS can’t be the source of THAT."
8. "It works, but it hasn’t been tested."
7. "Somebody must have changed my code."
6. "Did you check for a virus on your system?"
5. "Even though it doesn’t work, how does it feel?
4. "You can’t use that version on your system."
3. "Why do you want to do it that way?"
2. "Where were you when the program blew up?"

And the Number One Reply by Programmers when their programs don’t work:

 

 

 

GuessGuess………….

 

 

Come on, even u say it ……

 

 

 

Guess………….

 

 

 

"It works on my machine"

Easy MBA notes–how easy to learn business marketing (for guys)

A Professor explained Marketing to MBA students
1. You see gorgeous girl in party,
you go to her & say I am rich marry me
That’s Direct Marketing.
2. You attend party & your friend goes to a girl & pointing at you
tells her. He’ is very rich, marry him – That’s Advertising.
3. Girl walks to you & says u are rich, can u marry me?
"That’s Brand Recognition"
4. You say I m very rich marry me & she slaps u
"That’s Customer Feedback"
5. You say I m very rich marry me & she introduces you to her husband
"That’s Demand & Supply Gap"
6. Before you say I m rich, marry me, your wife arrives
That’s Restriction from Entering New Market.

406570_306473756079129_222490634477442_901359_2130325346_n(1)

All were missing the target! missing you honey

Husband throwing knives on wifes picture.
All were missing the target!
Suddenly he received call from her
"Hi,wat ru doin?"
His honest reply,"MISSING U"

—————————

Cool Msg by a woman-
Dear Mother-in-law,
"Don’t Teach me how 2 handle my children,
I’m living with one of yours
&
he needs a lot of improvement" 😉

—————————-

”An Intelligent Wife Is One
Who Makes Sure She Spends
So Much
That
Her Husband
Can’t Afford Another
Women" 😛

—————————–

Husband was seriously ill.
Doc to wife :-
Give him healthy breakfast, be pleasant & in gud mood,
don’t discuss ur problems,
no tv serial, dont demand new clothes & gold jewels,
Do this for 1 yr & he will be ok.
On the way home..
Husband :- wat did the doc say ?
Wife :- .No chance for u to survive

——————————

An Airline Introduced
A Special Package For Business Men.
Buy Ur Ticket Get Ur Wife’s Ticket Free
After Great Success,
The Company Sent Letters To All The Wives
Asking How Was The Trip.
All Of Them Gave A Same Reply…
"Which Trip ?"

——————————-

An Angry Wife To
Her Husband 0n Phone:
"Where d Hell Are You … ?"
Husband:
Darling You Remember That
Jewelery Shop Where You Saw
The Diamond Necklace n Totally
Fell In Love With It n I Didn’t
Have Money That Time n I said
"Baby It’ll Be Yours 1 Day … " O:)
Wife, With A Smile & Blushing:
Yeah I Remember That My Love !
Husband:
I m In The Pub Just Next To That Shop

WIFE = Without Information, Fighting Everytime OR With Idiot For Ever?

Having "WIFE" Is A
Part Of Living…
But
Having "GIRLFRIEND"
Along With The "WIFE" Is
Art Of Living
************
Husband asks: Do you know the meaning of WIFE? It means…
Without Information, Fighting Everytime!
WIFE says: No darling , it means :-
With Idiot For Ever
************
Wife: I wish I was a newspaper
so I would be in ur hands allday.
Husband: I too wish that u were
a newspapers so I could have
a new one everyday.
************
Nobody teaches
Volcanoes to erupt,
Tsunamis to devastate,
Hurricanes to sway around
&
no one teaches
How to choose a Husband,
NATURAL DISASTERS JUST HAPPEN.
************
Wife: yesterday-night I saw a dream
That u were sending me
Jewelry and clothes!
Husband: yeah, I saw
your dad paying the bill !!!
************

Sexy lingerie for for the dead???

http://thestar.com.my/comics/kee/kee.asp?id=080402