smile on view

smiles

YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN new era when…

1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.

2. You haven’t played solitaire with real cards in years.

3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.

4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.

5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that

they don’t have e-mail addresses.

6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your mobile phone to see if

anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.

7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the

screen.

8. Leaving the house without your mobile phone, which you didn’t have

The first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and

you turn around to go and get it.

10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your

coffee.

11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile.

: )

12. You’re reading this and nodding and laughing.

13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this

message.

14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.

15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn’t a #9 on this list

Thinking out of the Box @ Jokes

Q. How can you drop a raw egg onto a
concrete floor without cracking it?

A. Concrete floors are very hard to
crack!

**********
Q. If it took eight men ten hours to
build a wall, how long would it take
four men to build it?

A. No time at all it is already built.

**********
Q. If you had three apples and four
oranges in one hand and four apples
and three oranges in the other hand,
what would you have?
A. Very large hands. (Good one)

**********
Q. How can you lift an elephant with
one hand?
Read the rest of this entry »

Reason Why Never Visit A 5* Hotel

Question : “What would you like to
have ..Fruit juice, Soda, Tea,
Chocolate, Milo, or Coffee?”

Answer: “tea please”

Question : ” Ceylon tea, Herbal tea,
Bush tea, Honey bush tea, Ice tea or
green tea ?”

Answer : “Ceylon tea ”

Question : “How would you like it ?
black or white ?”

Answer: “white”

Question: “Milk, Whitener, or
Condensed milk ?”

Answer: “With milk ”

Question: “Goat milk, Camel milk or
cow milk”

Answer: “With cow milk please.

Question: ” Milk from Freeze land cow
or Afrikaner cow?”

Answer: ” Um, I’ll take it black. ”

Question: ” Would you like it with
sweetener, sugar or honey?”

Answer: “With sugar”

Question: ” Beet sugar or cane sugar ?”

Answer: “Cane sugar ”

Question:” White , brown or yellow
sugar ?”

Answer: “Forget about tea just give me
a glass of water instead.”

Question: “Mineral water or still
water ? ”

Answer: “Mineral water”

Question: “Flavored or non-flavored ?”

Answer: “I’ll rather die of thirst

Why? WHY? wHY?

Why is it that people say they ‘slept
like a baby’ when babies wake up every
two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court,
is it still called a hearing?

Why do we press harder on a remote
control when we know the batteries are
flat?

Why do banks charge a fee
on ‘insufficient funds’ when they know
there is not enough?

Why does someone believe you when you
say there are four billion stars, but
check when you say the paint is wet?

Why do they use sterilized needles for
death by lethal injection?

Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with
his chest, but ducks when you throw a
revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an ‘S’ in the
word ‘lisp’?

What is the speed of darkness?

Are there specially reserved parking
spaces for ‘normal’ people at the
Special Olympics?

If the temperature is zero outside
today and it’s going to be twice as
cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?

If it’s true that we are here to help
others, what are the others doing here?

Do married people live longer than
single ones or does it only seem
longer?

Do you cry under water?

How is it that we put man on the moon
before we figured out it would be a
good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why do people pay to go up tall
buildings and then put money in
binoculars to look at things on the
ground?

Did you ever stop and wonder……

Who was the first person to look at a
cow and say, ‘I think I’ll squeeze

these pink dangly things here, and
drink whatever comes out?’

Who was the first person to say, ‘See
that chicken there… I’m gonna eat
the next thing that comes outta it’s
bum.’

Why
do toasters always have a setting so
high that could burn the toast to
a horrible crisp, which no decent
human being would eat?

Why is there a light in the fridge and
not in the freezer?

Why do people point to their wrist
when asking for the time, but don’t

point to their bum when they ask where
the bathroom is?

Why does your Obstetrician,
Gynaecologist leave the room when you
get undressed if they are going to
look up there anyway ?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto
remains on all fours? They’re both
dogs!

Can blind people see their dreams? Do
they dream??

If quizzes are quizzical, what are
tests? (This one kills me!!!!)

If corn oil is made from corn, and
vegetable oil is made from vegetables,
then what is baby oil made from ?

If electricity comes from electrons,
does morality come from morons?

Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle,
Twinkle Little Star have the same
tune?

Stop singing and read
on . . . . . . . . . .

Do illiterate people get the full
effect of Alphabet Soup?

Did you ever notice that when you blow
in a dog’s face, he gets mad at

you, but when you take him on a car
ride, he sticks his head out the
window?

Does pushing the elevator button more
than once make it arrive faster?

Sartaji Jokes – Funny!

Prince Charles & Sardarji were having
dinner.
Prince said, “Pass the wine you
divine”.
Sardar thinks “how poetic”
Sardar says, “pass the custard you
bastard”.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sardar at bar in New York.
Man on his right says “Johny Walker
single”
Man on his left says “Peter Scotch
single”
Sardar says – “Baljith Singh Married”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Boss : I am giving u job as a driver.
STARTING salary Rs.2000/-, is it o.k
Sardar : U R great sir! Starting
salary is o.k…….but? ? Read the rest of this entry »

World Clock!

World Clock

You have never seen a clock like this
before. Look real close and read what
it is telling you………

http://www.poodwaddle.com/worldclock.swf

Twenty +3 Things to Always Remember

Twenty +3 Things to Always Remember

1. The biggest handicap in the world
is negative thinking.

2. He who cannot forgive others breaks
the bridge
over which he himself must pass.

3. Patience carries a lot of wait.

4. It is better to be thought a fool
than open your mouth and remove all
doubt.
5. A man wrapped up in himself
makes a very small package.

6. Inch by inch life’s a cinch
but by the yard, it’s much too hard.

7. The best angle to approach a
difficult problem,
is the “try”angle.

8. Faith without works is like snow on
a stove.

9. Have a positive attitude – it’s
contagious.

10. The more you judge the less you
love.

11. What you say reveals much –
what you don’t say reveals much more.

12. The easiest person to deceive is
yourself.

13. We should never let adversity get
us down –
except on our knees.

14. The longer one carries a problem,
the heavier it gets.

15. Your religion is what you do
when the sermon is over.

16. Success comes in cans –
Failure comes in can’ts.

17. The golden rule tarnishes
unless polished with use.

18. A marriage may be made in Heaven –
but the maintenance is done on Earth.

19. Problems are inevitable – misery
is optional.

20. Remember actions speak louder than
words.

21. You can only keep one thought in
your mind at a time –
make it a good one.

22. Don’t lose your temper,
no one else wants to find it.

23. Take the time to pray – you’ll be
glad you did!

iiMaGiiNe yOu aRe iiN tiiZ siiTuAtiiON – Jokes

You
have been tied hanging on a tree with
a rope anchored on the ground,a
candle is slowly burning the rope,

and the lion is waiting for you to
drop and be his lunch.Your
survival hinges on the rope staying
intact, there is no one

around to help you.

The
only possible way is to somehow
convince the

lion to BLOW the candle out.
How
do you do that?

Scroll down
for answer.. (click more)

*
*
*
* Read the rest of this entry »

Why Ladies today are still single?

Why Ladies today are still single?

1. The nice men are ugly.

2. The handsome men are not nice.

3. The handsome and nice men are gay.

4. The handsome, nice and heterosexual
men are married.

5. The men who are not so handsome,
but are nice men, have No money.

6. The men who are not so handsome,
but are nice men with money think
we are only after their money.

7. The handsome men without money are
after our money.

8. The handsome men, who are not so
nice and somewhat heterosexual,
don’t think we are beautiful enough.

9. The men who think we are beautiful,
that are heterosexual, somewhat
nice and have money, are cowards.

10. The men who are somewhat handsome,
somewhat nice and have some
money and thank God are heterosexual,
are shy and NEVER MAKE THE FIRST
MOVE!!!!

11. The men who never make the first
move, automatically lose interest
in us when we take the initiative.

can y0u read diis..?

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod
aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was
rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the
hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch
at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno’t
mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a
wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is
taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in
the rghit pclae. The rset can be a
taotl mses and you can sitll raed it
whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the
huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter
by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot
slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can
raed tihs psoter it

4 DON'TS when you are sleeping

1 DON’T SLEEP WITH WATCH

Watches can emit a certain level of
radioactivity.

Though small, but if you wear your
watch to bed

for a long time, it might have adverse
effects on your health.

< br>2 DON’T SLEEP WITH BRA

Scientist s in America have discovered
those that

wear bras for more than 12 hours have

a higher risk of getting breast
cancer.

So go to bed without it.

3 DON’T SLEEP WITH PHONE

Putting the phone beside your bed or
anywhere
near you is not encouraged.

T hough some of us will use phones as
alarm clocks,

but please put the phone as far as
possible.
< br>Scientists have proved that electrical
items including

mob ile phone and television sets emit
magnetic waves when used.

These waves can cause disruptions to
our nervous system.

There fore if you need to put your
mobile phone near you,

switch it off first.

4 DON’T SLEEP WITH MAKE UP

People who sleep with make up might
have

skin problems in the long run.

Sleeping with make up will cause the
skin to have

difficul ty in breathing and problem in
perspiring.

You will also need a much longer time
to go into deep sleep.

jokes – new businessman

A young businessman had just started
his
ow n business. He’d rented a beautiful
office and had it brilliantly
decorated.
Sitting there, he saw a man come into
the outer office.

Wishing to appear busy, the young
businessman picked up the phone and
started to pretend he was working a big
deal. He was shouting huge figures and
made giant commitments.

Finally, he hung up and asked the
visitor, “Can I help you?” The man
said,
“Sure. I’m here to install the phone!”

Sardarji Jokes : funny

Prince Charles & Sardarji were having
dinner.
Prince said, “Pass the wine you
divine”.
Sardar thinks “how poetic”
Sardar says, “pass the custard you
bastard”.
***************************************
********

Sardar at bar in New York .
Man on his right says “Johny Walker
single”
Man on his left says “Peter Scotch
single”
Sardar says – “Baljith Singh Married”
***************************************
********

Boss : am giving u job as a driver.
STARTING salary Rs.2000/-, is it o.k
Sardar : U R great sir! Starting salary
is o.k…….but??
how much is DRIVING salary…?
***************************************
********

Sardar’s theory : Moon is more impt
than
Sun, coz it gives light at
night when light is needed & Sun gives
light during the day when light
is not needed!!!
***************************************
********

2 sardars are driving a Car, one puts
on
the indicator and asks the
other to check whether its working, he
puts his head out and says
YES…NO…YES…NO…YES…NO…
***************************************
********
Sardar shouting 2 his girl friend ” u
said v will do register marriage
and cheated me, I was waiting 4 u
yesterday whole day in the post
office….
***************************************
********

A Tamilian call up sardar and asks ”
tamil therima??”
Sardar got mad, angrily replied….
“Hindi tera baap!!!”
***************************************
********

2 sardarjis looking at Egyptian mummy.
Sar 1 : Look so many bandages, pakka
lorry accident case.
Sar 2 : Aaho, lorry number is also
written…BC 1760!!!….
***************************************
********

A sardar on an interview 4 da post
detective.
Interviewer : who killed Gandhi?
Sardar : Thank u sir 4 giving me d job,
I will start investigating…….
***************************************
********

A sardar for an exam had studied only
one essay ‘FRIEND’, but in the
exam the essay which came
was ‘FATHER’ .
he replaced friend with father
in the essay and>it read: AM A VERY
FATHERLY PERSON, I HAVE LOTS OF
FATHERS,
SOME OF MY FATHERS ARE MALE AND SOME
ARE
FEMALE. MY TRUE
FATHER IS MY NEIGHBOUR.
***************************************
********

Interviewar: what s ur qualification?
Sardarji : Sir I am Ph.d.
Interviewar : what do u mean by Ph.d?
Sardarji : (smiling) PASSED HIGHSCHOOL
with DIFFICULTY….
***************************************
********

Amitab : In which state Cauvery flows?
Sardar : liquid state…..
Audience clapped.. Amitab stunned,
looks
behind, ALL WERE SARDARS……

Annie Wan call to Sam Wan – Jokes

Caller : Hello, can I speak to
Annie Wan (anyone)?

Operator : Yes, you can speak to
me.

Caller : No, I want to speak to
Annie Wan (anyone)!

Operator : You are talking to
someone! Who is this?

Caller : I’m Sam Wan (Someone).
And I need to talk to Annie Wan
(anyone)! It’s urgent.

Operator : I know you are someone
and you want to talk to anyone! But
what’s this urgent matter about?

Caller : Well… just tell my
sister Annie Wan (anyone) that our
brother Noel Wan (no one)has involved
in an accident. Noel Wan (no one)got
injured and now Noel Wan (no one) is
being sent to the hospital. Right now,
Avery Wan (everyone) is on his way to
the hospital.

Operator : Look if no one was
injured and no one was sent to the
hospital, then the accident isn’t an
urgent matter! You may find this
hilarious but I don’t have time for
this!

Caller : You are so rude! Who are
you?

Operator : I’m Saw Lee (Sorry).

Caller : Yes! You should be
sorry. Now give me your name!!

Artwork : Computer Graphic

Hi Friends and Visitor, i am once again with one of my artwork. This

time, we go
for my computer graphic class.

This is one of my very interesting subject in my diploma. Very Addicted with the
subject coursework. I Simply love it. It added with the use of iMac Computers.
At the bigins of my Diploma, its all hand written. Very bored. Now, it very interesting as i use computers for my artworks.

Ok. Have a look. Its the same Cendralla Vehicle or whatever name it could be…

Cendrella

Actually, The Instruction is to create a juice logo with mix vegi or fruits.

Means-  2 types of vegi or fruit have to join together in order to create a object. Also can mix fruit and vegi but – max: 2 objects only. (Use Adobe Photoshop Only)

So, i think too much. At begin, i create Alien. But, dont feel better with that. The
image end up with
noice/ distort.Than, i decided to think again. Suddenly think my girl friends. The
one look like Cendrella. Actually, better than that. Such a Angel looking girl.

So, i imagine her. Imagine the Cendrella Cartoon. Start Contruct above Object. Its
a mix of 2 fruits. Pumpkinand lemon.  Hopely, i manage to did the best i can. Its
not failure as previous one.

Than, i use layers to mergo both fruit together. crop each fruit carefully, in order to get as i want. Use Fish eye tool to bend the lemon to made the thing above rim. and more like that…

But, i never expect that, my Cendrella Vehicle selected for Showcase in my college Gallery. But, it did. Thank you girl. Its because of you…

I Love You Princess

Happy And Smile

Friends…

Some Friends Are Forever
Sometimes in life,
you find a special friend:
Someone who changes your life by
being part of it.

Someone who makes you laugh
until you can’t stop;
Someone who makes you believe
that there is really good in this world.
This is forever friendship.

When you’re down,
and the world seems dark and empty,
your forever friends lifts you up
in spirit and makes that dark and empty
world suddenly seem bright and full.

If you find such friend,
you feel happy and complete
you have a forever friend for life!……

Girls can also think

One morning the husband returns after
several hours of

fishing and decides to take a nap.
Although not familiar with the lake,
the wife decides to take the boat out.
She motors out a short distance,
anchors, and reads her book.

Along comes a Game Warden in his boat.
He pulls up alongside the woman and
says, “Good morning, Ma’am. What are
you doing?”

“Reading a book,” she replies,
(thinking, “Isn’t that obvious?”)

“You’re in a Restricted Fishing Area,”
he informs her.

“I’m sorry, officer, but I’m not
fishing. I’m reading.”

“Yes, but you have all the equipment.
For all I know you could start at any
moment. I’ll have to take you in and
write you up.”

“If you do that, I’ll have to charge
you with sexual assault,” says the
woman.

“But I haven’t even touched you,” says
the game warden.

“That’s true, but you have all the
equipment. For all I know you could
start at any moment.”

“Have a nice day ma’am,” and he left.

MORAL: Never argue with a woman who
reads. It’s likely she can also think.

soya bean info

soya bean info

All of us know that soyabean drink
provides good
protein to our body… but
many of us doesn’t know that there
are certain days
we should avoid.

Soyabean drinks are best consume on
hot sunny days
where the sun is burning
and glaring. The soya milk will
gives lots of
nutrients to the body, as the
body is able to absorb the protein
well.

However, *Avoid* the drink when the
weather is
cloudy or raining. Taking the
drink in these weathers, the body
will not be able
to take in the protein
thus will result in a disease
called “GOUT” or “high
acidic urine” due to
the high protein residue in the
body, after a long
run.

This disease will cause pain to your
knee joints and
it will only be in
control when you control your food
intake of
proteins and medications. The
pain is unbearable and usually you
will have no idea
what you have taken to
cause the pain. Food like soya
beans, ikan bilis,
broccoli, spinach,
peanuts, animal organs ( i.e. pork
liver) etc will
have to be avoided to
prevent the pain from attacking.

So my friends, pass this to your
family, relatives
and friends to keep an
alert of the pros and cons of
soyabean milk and when
it is to be taken and
avoid.

brand-new Porsche = $15 – jokes

A 16-year-old boy comes home with a
brand-new Porsche one day. As you might
expect, his parents freak out a little
bit.

“Where on Earth did you get that car?”
demands his mother.

“I bought it today,” the boy calmly
replies

“With what money?” his parents exclaim.

“We know what a Porsche costs.”

“With my allowance money,” answers the
boy.

“It was just 15 bucks. And look, here’s
the title to it!”

This gets the parents even more worked
up.

“Fifteen bucks??? Who the heck sells a
brand-new Porsche for fifteen bucks?”
they ask.

“It was the lady that just moved in up
the street,” says the boy.

“I don’t know her name. She saw me ride
past on my bike and asked me if I
wanted
to buy a Porsche for fifteen dollars.”

“Well, there must have been some kind
of
mistake,” says the mother.

Turning to her husband, she
says, “John,
you go right up there and see what’s
going on.”

So the boy’s father walks up the
street,
where he finds an attractive middle-
aged
woman in the front yard planting
petunias. He introduces himself and
says
he’s looking for a woman who just sold
a
Porsche to his son.

“Oh, yes,” she responds.

“That was me. I hope he’s enjoying it!”

“Er… yes, very much,” replies the
father.

“But to tell you the truth, we can’t
understand what just happened. Why in
the world did you sell it for such a
low
price?”

“Well,” she says, “this morning I got a
phone call from my husband. I thought
he
was on a business trip, but I learned
from a friend that he ran off to Hawaii
with his secretary and really doesn’t
plan to come back. He said he was
stranded and asked me to sell his new
Porsche and send him the money. So I
did.”

Top 10 Answering Machine Messages – Nice

10. My wife and I can’t come to the
phone right now, but if you’ll leave
your name and number, we’ll get back to
you as soon as we’re finished.

9 . Hello, you are talking to a
machine.
I am capable of receiving messages. My
owners do not need siding, windows or a
tub, and their carpets are clean. They
give to charity at the office and don’t
need their picture taken. If you’re
still with me, leave your name and home
phone number and they will get back to
you.

8 . This is not an answering machine –
this is a telepathic thought-recording
device. After the tone, think about
your
name, your number, and your reason for
calling…. and I’ll think about
returning your call.

7 . Hi! John’s answering machine is
broken. This is his refrigerator.
Please
speak very slowly, and I’ll stick your
message to myself with one of these
magnets.

6 . Hi. This is John: If you are the
phone company, I already sent the
money.
If you are my parents, please send
money. If you are my bank, you didn’t
lend me enough money. If you are my
friends, you owe me money. If you are a
female, don’t worry, I have LOTS of
money.

5 . A is for academics, B is for beer.
One of those reasons is why we’re not
here. So, leave a message.

4 . Hello! If you leave a message, I’ll
call you soon. If you leave a”sexy”
message, I’ll call sooner.

3 . Hi. Now YOU say something.

2 . Hi. I’m probably home, I’m just
avoiding someone I don’t like. Leave me
a message, and if I don’t call back,
it’s you.

And the Number 1 Actual Answering
Machine Message Recorded and Verified
by
The World Famous International
Institute
of Answering Machine Messages.

1 . Hello, you’ve reached Jim and
Sonya.
We can’t pick up the phone right now,
because we’re doing something we really
enjoy. Sonya likes doing it up and
down,
and I like doing it left to right…
real slowly. So leave a message, and
when we’re done brushing our teeth,
we’ll call you back.