smile on view

smiles

1line Jokes

Judge: Why did you hit your husband
with a chair?”
Wife: “I couldn’t lift the table.”

******

“What did one ghost say to another?”
“Do you believe in people?”

******

My friend has a fine watch dog.
At any suspicious noise he wakes the
dog and the dog begins to bark.

******

They call our language the mother
tongue because the father seldom gets
to speak.

******

“Room Service? Can you send up a
towel?”
” Please wait someone else is using
it.”

******

When I told the doctor about my loss
of memory, he made me pay in advance.

******

“Where did you get those big eyes?”
“They came with the face.”

******

I went alone on our honeymoon. My wife
had already seen Niagara Falls .

******

But the psychiatrist really helped me
a lot. I would never answer the phone,
because I was afraid. Now I answer it
whether it rings or not.

******

It was love at first sight. Then I
took a second look !!

******

“Look, guide, here are some lion
tracks.”
“Good. You see where they go and I’ll
find out where they came from.”

******

“Do you think I”ll lose my looks as I
get older?”
“Yes if you’re lucky.”

******

A modern artist is one who throws
paint on canvas, wipes it off with a
cloth and sells the cloth.

******

“Has there been any insanity in your
family?”
“Yes, doctor. My husband thinks he’s
the boss.”

******

I was thinking of becoming a doctor.
I have the handwriting for it.

******

“My wife doesn’t know what she wants.”
” You’re lucky. My wife does.”

******

We have a quiet home life. I don’t
speak to her and she doesn’t speak to
me.

******

“What do use for washing dishes?”
“Oh, I tried many things but found my
husband best. ”

******

“Why don’t you give your husband a
divorce?”
“What, I have lived with him for ten
years and now I should make him
happy?”

******

“Young man, do you think you can
handle a variety of work?”
“I ought to be able to. I’ve had 12
different jobs in four months.”

******

KUTTAPPA'S ROBOT

KUTTAPPA’S ROBOT

One day Kuttappa’s dad bought a robot.

The robot was special in that it could
detect a lie and would slap the
person who lied on the face.

Kuttappa returned late from school
that day and his dad asked him,
‘Son why are you late from school’?

Kuttappa answered, ‘Dad we had extra
classes today’.

Much to his astonishment the Robot
jumped up and slapped Kuttappa on his
face.

His dad told him son this robot is
special in that he can detect a lie
and will then slap the person who lied
now come on tell me the truth,

‘Why are you late?’

‘Dad I went for a movie’,

‘Which movie?’

‘The Ten Commandments’,

Splatt Kuttappa got a tight slap on
the face from the robot.

‘No dad honest I went for the movie
Sex Queen.’

Shame on you son when I was your age I
never used to do such shameful things.

‘Splatt, the dad gets a tight slap on
the face from the robot.

Hearing all this, Kuttappa’s mother
comes walking out of the kitchen
saying, ‘

‘After all he is your son’, to which
the robot steps up and gives a
resounding slap on Kuttappa¬Ęs mothers
face

POTENTIALITY AND REALITY

How many of us understood the real
meaning of Potentiality & Reality?

Not sure? Read this moral story and
enjoy yourself.

Youngest Son: “Tell me Daddy, what is
the difference between
“Potentiality” and “reality”?”
Dad: “I will show you”

Dad turns to his wife and asks her:
“Would you sleep with Robert Redford
for 1 million dollars”?
Read the rest of this entry »

why did the chicken cross the road???

why did the chicken cross the road???

KINDERGARTEN TEACHER:
To get to the other side.

ARISTOTLE:
It is the nature of chickens to cross
roads.

RONALD REAGAN:
I forget.

KARAM SINGH WALIA (TV3 News caster):
Seperti yang saudara dapat lihat,
kelihatan ayam-ayam itu sedang
melintas
jalan, mereka bukan sahaja melintas
jalan
malah membuang najis di atas jalan dan
ini adalah pencemaran yang paling
hebat di maya pada masa ini. Bapa-bapa
dan ibu-ibu Ayam haruslah mengambil
inisiatif untuk melatih ayam-ayam agar
menahan najis sewaktu melintas
jalan, sekian saya sudahi
dengan………
Ayam di jalan di lintaskan
Ayam di reban mati tak makan

KAMALHAASAN:
Haaaaaa….koliiii…koliiiiiiiiii….
ennoda koliyei yaaro trap panni, BBQ
seithittaanga…hhaaaaaa…haaaaaa….
manithar purinthu kolla ithu normal
chicken allaaaaa…athayum taandi ayam
serama…ayam serama…haaa aaaaa !!!!

SUPERSTAR RAJNI:
Kannaaaa….oru chicken nee
saapta…100 chicken kanavuley
varum..ithu naan sollaley..antha
mahaan Babaji sonnaaru.
Naan enna solrenaa..intha ulagathuley
athigama chicken kill panre
ambilayum…athigama chicken porichi
saapudra pombalayum..healthy ah
vaalnthata saritiramey illai….HA HA
HA…ithu eppadi irukku..??

JERRY SEINFELD:
Why does anyone cross a road? I mean,
why doesn’t anyone ever think to ask,
“What the heck was this chicken doing
walking around all over the place
anyway?”

VIJAYKANTH:
Intha ulagathulae motham more than
25653.98 million chicken farm
irukku…calculate panni paatha en
moolai ellam kolambi…oru nalaikki
ennoda medical selavu 2340 rupees
50paisa avuthu…4 d past 23 days,
naan romba kashta pattu ennidam
illatha moolai irruku poi sonnathaley
ennai saman pannitanggey..athanalay
ennoda settle selavu…100,000 rupees
65 paisa..ithu ellam naan nadichi
nadichi save panne sothu…34.89%
hilang pannuthe…

BILL GATES:
I have just released the new Chicken
Office 2000, which will not only cross
roads, but will lay eggs, file your
important documents, and balance your
checkbook.

*all the names and story is for fun only. Not related to any person.
It just creative text for fun.

Letter from Ah Beng to Ah Lian – Jokes

¬†Jokes that i read…

Dear Ah Lian,

Thanks you for your letter. Wrong time
no see you. How everything?
For me,I am quiet find.

You say in your letter your taukeh soh
want you to chain you look? Somemore
you must wear kick kok soo,hope you
can wok properly.

You know,Ah Kau Kia working in a soft
where company now. Last week, he take
I,Muthu and few of his friend to May
Nonut to eat barger. After that he
take we all to go kalah ok. Muthu sing
ang sing until the sky bright.

Next week, my father mother going to
sellerbread 20 years annie wear sari.
My father mother going to give a fist
to all the kampong people. So you must
come with your hole family.

I only hope one day we no need to
write and send letter to you and to me.
Better I e-meow you,you e-meow me. I
will ketchup with you soon. And when
you time,please few free to call me.
Goo bye…

Worm regard,
Ah Beng